my Self

My photo
Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Oh Wow. Time is so stinkin' precious!

I used to cling to this blog.  It was my diary that answered.  Letting my emotions flow out through my fingers and out into the world.  Like butterflies.  Or bees.  Or ugly bats.  Depending on what emotions they were, I suppose.

Okay.  Little update.  I feel like I'm drowning.  I am so in love with Brogan it's pathetic, and he's so happy and normal it's also pathetic.  I'm lucky and he's amazing and yet my life is so busy I have zero, zero time to myself.  Which isn't surprising because it's been like that since I was like, sixteen years old.

Honestly, I have worked full time for LITERALLY 29 years already, and I am only 40 years old.  I went to work 8 hour shifts all week at my parent's restaurant when I was 11.  Yes, I did.  I was homeschooled and we all worked when we were old enough.  Sigh.  I can't defend it.... I think it was a horrible way to start a life, to be honest, and although it taught me a lot of important crap, like how to be a hard worker, and how to be great with people and how to bullshit my way to anything, it also taught me that my only value to the world is how much I can work.

So I do.  I work.  And work and work and work.  And when I am not working I am being a fabulous mommy to a beautiful little boy.  Which means I sleep about four hours a night and spend the rest of the time cooing, singing, tucking, wiping, dressing and researching my precious little boy.  When I'm not running what is becoming a medium sized business (can't stay it's that small with nine full time employees and the amount of work we do, can we?) ... can we?

Sigh.  Becoming a rant / whine when it should be an update.  Oh wait... I hear stirrings of Brogan behind me in the bedroom... it's 9:40 and I am so tired I can hardly think and most likely the next eight hours will be spent watching over, nursing, and calming my boy.  I wish sleep were not essential to existing, because there is too much to do to really waste time doing it!