my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Passing the Time

This month is a breeze. No needles, no pain, no worry about the cost, the pain, the timing... the mood swings, the anxiety from the meds.... all gone.

Instead I am back to the lovely feeling of 'what if' and enjoying the thought of making love to my husband in order to make a baby instead of waiting for hours to be inseminated by a harried doctor in a frenzied emergency room. It's kind of nice. Okay, it's really nice.

I'm keeping myself busy. I'm going to rehearsals almost every night of the week, and started pottery classes one morning a week. The store is running beautifully and our great big, beautiful new deck is just about done. Instead of spending all my time exploring reasons for my miscarriages, and trying to figure out what we can do to make it all work, I am spending evenings meeting new people in the community, laughing and learning.

I'm obviously still looking forward to motherhood. We're going to ovulate this weekend and have every intention of covering all our bases. And of course I'll be on pins and needles for two weeks.... but it all seems a lot more managable. Maybe the drugs cause me to make more out of it than I realize.....?

David and I got pregnant last year all on our own. Who knows about this time?


  1. I wish you the best! :)
    Enjoy it! We are starting our first round of Clomid as soon as we can. Hopefully we'll both have really good news soon!

  2. I am so glad to hear you're enjoying your break from all the meds and craziness! I'm on the BCP for a few weeks to calm my OHSS-crazed ovaries, so I know how you feel. At first it's frustrating and then suddenly you're just so relieved to be living a normal life. The pottery class sounds really cool! Good luck TTC this weekend -- sounds like it will be very romantic (just like it ought to be)!

  3. Hey you, I was wondering what you've been up to! I checked for a new post but didn't see one. Thanks so much for your supportive comments about my dad. It is definitely frustrating -- he is just so religious that he forgets the whole compassion thing. He's too caught up in the "rules." My MIL is like that, too. Luckily my mom and FIL and all our siblings are very supportive.

    So are you going natural until IVF in the spring, or will you be doing some medicated IUIs until spring? I totally understand how scared and defeated you must feel. I remember when I first started reading IF blogs -- I would read the IF histories of bloggers and think, "Well at least I will never have to do IVF!" because it sounded so crazy and out there. And surely I'd be pregnant after a few IUIs, right?! But I wasn't. So, here we both are, in the world of IVF.

    Let me tell you, the whole thing really isn't so bad. If you don't hyperstimulate (which you most likely won't -- I am just insanely sensitive to the meds) everything else was okay. Even the surgery for retrieval was not a big deal, and I felt FINE afterwards. And I'm kind of a wuss! =)

    I know this was a long note, but I just wanted to give you some support and comfort. I am here for you if you ever want to discuss it via email. Thinking of you. *hug*

  4. Hi! This is great that you are taking a "break". I apologize for not responding back when you wrote on my blog but if you see my latest entry it was just a really tough month. So now we'll try to move on to positive thoughts and I truly wish you the best of luck. Also, maybe you can show me how to link my chart from fertilityfriend. I'll still update that regularly :)