my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Yoga and Renovations

It's official.  The entire top floor of my house is totally demolished.  Nothing but bare 2x4s and plywood.  Except for one room right in the middle that has been left untouched.  It contains something that gives me deep, intense pleasure on a nightly basis.  It contains my bathtub.

Throughout my entire adult life, a warm bath has been essential to my mental health.  A bruised heart would mean taking two and sometimes even three hot baths a day... not feeling well... I'll sink myself into a swirling well of aromatherapy and let whatever pain medications I've ingested to start to work.  My tub is where I find 30 minutes a day to visit the characters in the novels I'm reading, (currently the Mayfair Witches series again) and to reflect on the day behind me and plan the day ahead.

So the guys, being my husband and youngest son, have been patient and accommodating by leaving my horribly outdated, cracked tub alone.  I'm pregnant!  I need my bath!  It's the one time of the day when I am sure to not feel some kind of pressure or pain or the gross effects of gravity on my swollen midsection.

Okay.  David would freak if I were suggesting this was actually what our current tub looks like.  But the drama queen that I am, well, I wanted to make a point.  Any container that holds hot water and me at the same time is all I really need to qualify as a 'bath'.  I'm not fussy.  DISCLAIMER:  This is not our actual bathtub.  Although.  it's not far off...
I know it's going to go soon, though.  I will be weeks without the daily ritual that I so intently focus on when my work day is coming to a close!  The guys just can't keep working around that outdated, ugly little room with the peeling floor and crooked vanity.  It has to go.  To the dump.  Everything in it.  Sigh.

And... this is a lot closer to what our new en suite will look like.  Not *quite* the same, but it's the general idea.  Will my tub time be more relaxing, the books I read more interesting, or my armpits any cleaner as a result of this setting.  I vote YES!  Please note:  I am nearly 40 years old and this is the first time in my life I'll have had a 'nice' place to live.  I'm not bragging about my bathtub, I'm in awe of it! 
I am somewhat mollified by the fact that my *new* tub will be a deep, luxurious (and un-cracked) well of peace and tranquility.  It's going into a large en suite separated from the main bedroom by a wall of built in closets.  I will have my own dressing room complete with makeup table.  A lovely window will allow me to gaze at the snow, or the northern lights, or the stars or the summer leaves as the water massages my worry away.  I will have a sound system built in so I don't have to drag my iPhone into the bathroom if I want music.

So David and I have moved into the basement den.  He pretty much moved our bedroom and set it up exactly as the way it was.  I've never seen another person take someone else's comfort into such consideration.  We laughed at us living in a 'basement suite' at our age, and especially while being pregnant.  We're both a little apprehensive about the possibility of the baby (Brogan) coming early, but honestly, all he needs is a boob and a basket to be comfy for the first few weeks of life.

No, we didn't do this pose yet,
but it looks interesting, considering
how all the women are leaking things
we never knew we could leak, and
the class *is* a little crowded.
Oh, and this morning, I found time to take my first pre-natal yoga class.  Besides the room being about 10 degrees above comfort level, it was fun and interesting.  Half of the poses made me either feel the need to pee or pass gas, which made me nervous because there were about four women too many in the room and we were about 12 inches from face to fanny most of the time.  I wasn't alone in my experience, other women felt the same way!  I did manage to find a friendly face, another cheerful, intelligent woman whom I connected with as a result of this blog.  We were happy to see one another and went for a great lunch together afterwards where we got to talk about nothing but babies, babies, babies!  It's great to know someone else is as nervous and excited as I am.  I'm very much looking forward to next week's session.


  1. What a mammoth undertaking - good luck! It will be beautiful when you're done :) Missed you at yoga this week, it's getting harder.... but good, and we did happy baby pose!

  2. Look at you!! You look amazing! I have been out of the blog circuit for awhile. I am so glad you are doing well and that the babe is growing and healthy!