my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Forced to Obsess

I have a 22 year old staff member who I am pretty close to. She's worked with me for two years, and is a very kind girl. She's not the first person to say, "I think you need to stop trying so hard, and just let things happen." If I weren't taking my temperature, and charting, and saw my doctor, I would have just kept miscarrying over and over. (I have very low progesterone). If I don't keep track of my CD, I don't know when to take my clomid. If I don't know when I ovulated, I wouldn't know when to start my progesterone. If I don't take pregnancy tests I wouldn't know when to stop, or increase my progesterone. It was only because of my insistance on getting betas and progesterone tests that my LPD was detected...less than 1% chance and I caught it.... I'm travelling to my wedding this month. I'm sick of testing, and temping. DH and I got pregnant 3 times out of six monthswe were actually able to BD during Ovulation. GETTING PREGNANT IS NOT THE ISSUE... it's KEEPING MY BABIES.... How do I *relax* when I am FORCED to monitor myself?

1 comment:

  1. good question. I wish I had some concrete answer. I have noticed that your attitude seems a little different than when you first started out...and I know its a by-product of the rollercoaster you were forced to ride...and I also know that its not ever going to be the same "Sonya" there was before....b/c I'll never be the same. but perhaps while riding this crazy rollercoaster you can work on reconnecting to that gal...who simply said...what is, is and it's not a question of if, but when you become a mommy. Sending positive thoughts and vibes your way.