Yay... everyone's pregnant!!

Except me! Yay.

Okay... I may be feeling a bit bitter. A bit left out. A bit angry. I now have nine, yes, nine wonderful, deserving online friends who were not pregnant when I met them, but who are all either pregnant, or have had babies. Look at how beautiful and shiny happy they are! And, yes, the bloated bellies are not limited to online chicks.... three close friends in town, all whom had struggled with miscarriages and are older women, like me, are very well into their second trimesters. I can't say that these women are some of the most deserving women out there who are TTC... I'd just like to say that I kind of figured that I was in their league! Ya know?

I'm not angry or bitter at their success, I'm just feeling helpless to join them. I have all the tools, all the resources, all the will and desire...... it just hasn't happened yet.

So I've had a few cries lately. I've spent a few showers (it drowns out any audible sad noises and I don't have to keep getting up to get tissue) getting some of the fear and anger out of my system... and even got pretty emotional talking to David last night. David, who is the most amazing man I have ever been blessed to know... who always knows what the right thing to say is, who always knows when to say nothing, who knows me better than I know myself.

Okay. Enough of the pity party. It's boring. I hear it too many times to participate for long. I really don't believe in it.

On to the good news. Last month (this cycle) I did injectable meds for the first time. I responded well. I mean, I responded exceptionally well. I responded beyond exceptionally well. I responded so exceptionally well that my loving husband was not allowed to get even remotely close to me. Okay, so we lost $800 and a month of trying. Well, so what. There are millions of women who would pay for my problem.

I am currenly waiting for my period to show. So we can start again. So I can take hormones and inject FSH and wait and undergo IUI and then. Wait. And wait. Any maybe it will work, and maybe it won't.. but maybe it will. We are aiming for an IUI on September 4th....