my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Monday, December 28, 2009

It's Like Being In Line For The Roller Coaster

You can't wait to get there, but you have a ball of dread in your stomach at what's going to happen.  There's nothing anyone can tell you to keep away - you hear stories that conflict each other.  Some tales are dripping with excitement and wonder and a smug knowing accomplished with a tender nudge.  Others... others are filled with dire warnings and a firm hand, one that holds you back. 

But it's our ride.  We've paid a horribly high price for the ticket.  We're not only committed, we're obligated... to something that doesn't have a name, a heartbeat or a voice, only the hope of one.  So we'll take it, and we'll share our story at the end.  We'll be a lot wiser at the end of it, we'll also be very happy or very sad.

I'm off to PCRM in Vancouver on December 30th for a sonohystogram and more bloodwork, as well as my injections class.  Should be interesting to know if I've been doing my injections correctly for the past six months - I never had as much as a 'how-to' flyer given to me.  Oh, and the drugs should be interesting... I was on clomid for 12 months and started to experience vision issues, then found out I am only supposed to be on clomid for a maximum of 6 months, and the vision symptoms I was experiencing are indicitive of my retina detaching.  Lovely. 

I had CD3 tests performed on December 23rd, but won't find out the results until the 30th... I am hopeful they were good!


  1. Hi Sonya! Thank you for stopping by to visit my blog. I actually discovered your blog last night and love it so thank you for sharing. I'm actually new to blogging but am finding it quite enjoyable. It's a great forum to "get it all out" since all of my friends have kids and probably couldn't relate and/or don't want to hear it anyway. Yes, you and I do have some things in common. I'm very sorry to hear about your father and I will keep you and your sister in my prayers. I know it is tough and I'm so very sorry that you have been dealt this hand. Keep your head up sweetie and keep us posted on the doctors visits! I'm looking forward to following along!

  2. Oh my gosh the retina detachment thing sounds so, so scary!! Are you okay?! Does that resolve itself if it isn't too severe or do you have to get surgery or something? I never knew Clomid could do that after being on it for a year.

    I'm sorry for the dread and nerves you must be feeling right now, but just try and take each day, each test, each injection, each scan one day at a time. That was how I had to approach IVF because otherwise it felt too overwhelming. I am praying that you get that BFP you're dreaming of at the end of this cycle! Hang in there ...

  3. Oh.. the retina detaching..... as soon as you stop the drugs things are okay.... It's if you continue them after signs that things get dangerous.

  4. Ok the retina detaching thing is really scary! I have been on clomid ALOT of cycles. Truthfully I am not even sure how many. Part of why I was willing to move onto IVF is becuase I have been having vision issues with the clomid. Nice. My retina is detaching. I hope this roller coaster ends smoothly.