The Other Woman.

It has to be mentioned. It's part of our life. David has another love, whom he lives with over half the year. Lovingly referred to as 'the Patch'. She's the first wife who has first rights to his time, his thoughts, his time his hands, his time, his attention, his time... Did I mention his time? For anyone who does not live in Mid-Western Canada and whose living does not to a great degree rely directly or indirectly on the oil that we suck from the earth... the 'patch' is the oil patch. Black Gold. Pipeline. Station. Rig. Roughneck. Inspector. The Line. Big Pipe. First Love. Money. Lifestyle.

This lifestyle has a huge impact on our day to day living. Financially it's like winning the lottery. Emotionally it's like claiming bankruptcy. Well. Not most days.. just some days. I counted (David finds it both sad and amazing that I do things like this) the past twelve months and he's been home less than five months.

I said something to him the other day, "We live together only four or five months out of the year," and it really bothered him... But I explained that I *have* to think like that. I have to wrap my head around the fact that for a great deal of time I do essentially live alone. I do all the shopping, cleaning, decisions, cooking, arranging of furniture, entertaining of guests, decorating for changing seasons, alone.

~Notice what she's looking at...love that...~

I can't live like I have a husband at home, because I don't. I can't pretend that I have this happy couple life where I get the luxury of sharing meals, events, favorite television shows, my bed, on a regular basis. If I did pretend that, I'd get resentful because it just ain't happening. And this lifestyle has NO room for resentment.

So, I explained, I accept the fact that I am a married person living a single life (sans dating!) and it makes it easier for me. I accept that when he gets home in the spring I will have about six weeks before I start counting down the time until he leaves again. I accept that we will have to re-arrange our living habits again, like we do every time we start to live together again.

David is doing what he needs to do in order to provide and protect me and my children. I am doing what I need to do in order to help him accomplish that. I am grateful for his work, grateful that he is a man I can trust, even when he can't be seen. Grateful for my freaky attitude in dealing with this strange marriage that imposes itself like an unwelcome houseguest in our lives.

And baby making? Well I finally had enough last fall when I realized we would lose four months of trying as a result of his schedule. We did miss two. January and February were re-arranged to match up with my schedule, which is almost as hard to change as his! I don't mind if we don't get pregnant... but I sure as hell mind if we can't even try.