my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Well..... today's kind of a big day.  This is the stage that we endured the loss of our first pregnancy.  Of course, I don't know to the day that we got pregnant that time, but 8w5d is where the doctors pegged our miscarriage, so it's been heavy on my mind this past week.

Of course, so many things are different.  We have a confirmed heartbeat (huge plus!!), and have witnessed our little one on ultrasound, measured him and he measured big (another huge plus!!), and there has been not even a trace of cramps or spotting.  Yes, another big check in the 'plus' column.

I will tell you, though, this little one is making himself known to his mama.  My stomach still feels tight and heavy, and I have learned to move slowly and with purpose because of the sharp tearing pain that jumps out if I don't.  I don't have a lot of other symptoms, I get much more hungry than I ever have, which is new because I underwent lap band surgery ten years ago and usually eat about 1/2 of what a non-banded person eats.  I'm pretty much up to full portions!  And if I don't eat, I start to get nauseas.  Not to the point of throwing up, but to the point of gagging and feeling lousy.  I'm used to eating lunch at around 11 am... then dinner at 8 or 9 at night.

I'm actually making myself a real breakfast (and I don't usually like breakfast food) at 9, then eating an actual lunch around 1 and dinner around 7 pm.  I am really enjoying eating!

The other major symptom I have is exhaustion.  I have half the energy I usually do.  Here's a brief (couldn't find my favorite) article on early pregnancy fatigue:

One of the most common symptoms of early pregnancy is fatigue.
During the early stages of pregnancy, your body is trying to work double time in order to keep up with all of the changes that are occurring. Some of the changes that are occurring include an increase production of hormones, as well as an increased blood flow. Along with the increased blood flow, the heart is pumping faster and harder to accommodate the additional blood flow. The increased blood is necessary in order for the growing fetus to get the nutrients it needs.
One of the primary reasons for extreme fatigue during early pregnancy is due to the increased production of progesterone. Progesterone is known to cause you to become sleepy as well as a natural depressant for the nervous system.
Another reason that can be attributed to fatigue during early pregnancy is because of all the extreme emotions that occur when a woman is pregnant. It is quite common for a pregnant woman to start crying to no other reason than a surge of hormones in her body.
Extreme fatigue is also a cue for a pregnant woman to get as much sleep as possible, before the arrival of the new baby. The body needs to be well rested for the upcoming labor and birth. As well, it is quite common for a new mother to get very little sleep after the new baby arrives.
If you are suffering from early signs of morning sickness, this can also contribute to fatigue during early pregnancy. Nausea and even vomiting can make a person feel extremely run down and exhausted.
Other than those few things, none of which are nearly as dramatic as heaving the last drop of moisture out of the depths of my stomach, my head much closer to a toilet seat than is reasonably germilogically safe, I feel pretty good.  Some annoying mood swings, but I've been on so many hormones over the past 18 months that I couldn't tell you that my short lived dramatic fits are anything my family is noticing more now than before.  
I do feel very protective over this pregnancy.  I'm pretty sure that's normal for any mother, much less one who has lost so many pregnancies over the past three years.  I had a family member refer to the baby as 'our baby' and it triggered a great deal of emotion for me.  Although others might view this baby as being 'their' baby, I'm really enjoying David and I wrapping ourselves around this little life.  We've been essentially on our own when it comes to the mourning, the finances, the pain (physical and emotional), the travel, and the endless, suspenseful waiting. Now that things are going well, it's sort of hard to include others on the journey, when we're so used to being on our own.  I'm sure this feeling will subside as the pregnancy continues, and the baby comes... but for now... it's a little difficult to suddenly share.
Ultrasound number two will be on December 1st, next Wednesday.  I'm truly excited.  Of course there's a tiny bit of anxiety, but not a great deal.  I'll keep you updated, most likely posting a new photo next week!!


  1. So glad to hear that things are going well so far! Interesting article on the fatigue. Good luck on your upcoming ultrasound!

  2. So curious about todays ultra sound...hoping things went well

  3. Wanted to check in on you too.... :)

  4. Soooo, how did your ultrasound go?!?!?!?!?! :o)