my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Getting Ready!

I'm waivering.  Between holding onto my determination to be 'realistic' and just letting myself believe the best possible outcome just might be my reality.  I'm really wondering if my holding back emotionally can have a negative effect on the outcome.  My little voice, the one way down deep inside is really hopeful. 

Sometimes in the middle of the day I'll let my mind wander to what it would be like.  I can imagine the dense heaviness of having a baby growing inside me.  The wonderment of the rolling sensation when the baby begins to move, and the waterfall of emotion that comes throughout the entire journey.  That waterfall never stops; I know, I have two full grown sons and I still fall in love with them every day.

Today I watched my tall, handsome 21 year old son fix the industrial embroidery machine in my shop.  He explained everything to me as he went along, he was careful with the tools and parts, and when he finished, I had a small list of replacement parts that he wanted on hand, and a machine that ran like silk.  Then he kissed his beautiful girlfriend (who is a manager at my shop), grinned that grin of his, and strolled out of the store.

Now we talk about babies a lot on these blogs, but that experience was about my child.  A full grown young man who is still my child.  And it was an amazing, wonderful experience that I am grateful for on many levels (not just having my machine fixed!).  So here's a picture of my oldest 'baby'... I have another just as handsome younger baby around as well - I'll feature him in the future.

I actually had a few things happen today.  I found out I get baseline on the 15th, then start stims on the 16th.  Here's the nice part, I don't have to go back for my next ultrasound and bloodwork until the 19th.  That means I can go over to Vancouver Island after my baseline to spend a few days with my sister.  It will make my time away from home a lot less lonely.  Oh, and since the insurance covers our hotel room, I can afford to get a car!  Yay for that!  I also discovered my drugs are only going to cost around $2K... normally they are nearly twice that.... I guess they figure I'm going to respond well (which I will!)

I've also booked myself for a few sessions of acupuncture.  The clinic I'm going to supports it, and I really do believe there are true benefits.  Here's the website if you want to check out some of the studies they've done. 

I haven't really started packing yet although I keep meaning to.  I'm not taking that much to be honest.  My favorite jeans and tee shirts and such.  I'm not even taking shampoo and shaving cream - just going to pick up new stuff and only pack it one way. 


  1. I'm so excited for you! I'll keep you in my prayers that the IVF gives you a beautiful and healthy baby. I've been going through a lot of the feelings you've described as well at the thought of even starting my 1st IVF. But I think we truly should keep our hopes and faith up, after all, this long journey has taught us if anything to keep the faith and our chin up. *hugs & best wishes*

  2. Hey! I stumbled upon your blog. My husband's family is from Fort St. John and no I am not going to ask if you know any of them ;). We are currently waiting for our first IVF appointment with Genesis in Vancouver. I hope your treatment goes well! Looking forward to following you and your journey!

  3. I am so glad to hear that things seem to be lining up so smoothly for your IVF! I did acupuncture for my last cycle and it really helped to relax me. I hope it does the same for you!

  4. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today while you are getting started and hoping everything is going well.