Crazy Woman Doctor Appointment

So I got nervous.  It happens.  It's happened before.  It'll happen again.  Get it?  I want everyone to get it.  understand that I am, in my own mind, at least, a pretty level headed woman when it comes to this pregnancy thing.  It has been nearly three years of no real happy endings.  No squirming, breathing baby at the end of it, making me wonder what the hell I was thinking.  Just me, 25 lbs more of me, and close to $20K less of our money to show for it.  Yeah, I get nervous.

I get nervous when my betas are doubling at an embarrassingly low rate.  I get nervous when I have ridiculous conversations with people that leave me stressed out.  I get nervous when pregnancy signs come and go, and I get nervous when I think that this might be the one time that our dreams really might come true.

So when I had my last beta done at 9 o'clock in the morning on Wednesday, because I was nervous, I had anticipated that I might have the results within, I don't know... six hours?  Considering the lab had faxed the results over to my doctor's office (not the clinic - that's 500 miles away) within 90 minutes (that's before 11 a.m., folks...) I thought I might have a chance to ease my stress. 

Nah.  I called four times only to be told that the nurses hadn't had a chance to enter the information into the system.  They can't read it from a piece of paper from the fax, it has to be read from a screen, I guess.  So the entire day goes by and I get no relief from my nerves.  So then, as imaginations will do, my imagination took over and I was sure that my doctor wanted to wait until my Thursday (today) appointment to break the bad news to me.  Yeah, that eased my fear. 

This morning I was such a wreck, so sure that the doctor was going to have those deep, sorrowful eyes that means your entire world is going to be sucked away again, I was so worried... that I am sure my young doctor thinks I am a proverbial crazy pregnant lady, and is dreading an actual term of gestation with me as a patient.

David came with me.  I was thankful for him being there, happy for the solidness of his presence.  Happier that he got to witness some good news for a change.  The beta was 300... more than doubled.  Well, of course.  How could I ever have doubted anything but?   *crazy laugh*

Here are my numbers with a 5dt FET

12dpo  hcg 30 (none)


14dpo   hcg 66       42.20 hrs

17dpo   hcg 146     62.86 hrs

19dpo   hcg 300     46.20 hrs