my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Crazy Woman Doctor Appointment

So I got nervous.  It happens.  It's happened before.  It'll happen again.  Get it?  I want everyone to get it.  understand that I am, in my own mind, at least, a pretty level headed woman when it comes to this pregnancy thing.  It has been nearly three years of no real happy endings.  No squirming, breathing baby at the end of it, making me wonder what the hell I was thinking.  Just me, 25 lbs more of me, and close to $20K less of our money to show for it.  Yeah, I get nervous.

I get nervous when my betas are doubling at an embarrassingly low rate.  I get nervous when I have ridiculous conversations with people that leave me stressed out.  I get nervous when pregnancy signs come and go, and I get nervous when I think that this might be the one time that our dreams really might come true.

So when I had my last beta done at 9 o'clock in the morning on Wednesday, because I was nervous, I had anticipated that I might have the results within, I don't know... six hours?  Considering the lab had faxed the results over to my doctor's office (not the clinic - that's 500 miles away) within 90 minutes (that's before 11 a.m., folks...) I thought I might have a chance to ease my stress. 

Nah.  I called four times only to be told that the nurses hadn't had a chance to enter the information into the system.  They can't read it from a piece of paper from the fax, it has to be read from a screen, I guess.  So the entire day goes by and I get no relief from my nerves.  So then, as imaginations will do, my imagination took over and I was sure that my doctor wanted to wait until my Thursday (today) appointment to break the bad news to me.  Yeah, that eased my fear. 

This morning I was such a wreck, so sure that the doctor was going to have those deep, sorrowful eyes that means your entire world is going to be sucked away again, I was so worried... that I am sure my young doctor thinks I am a proverbial crazy pregnant lady, and is dreading an actual term of gestation with me as a patient.

David came with me.  I was thankful for him being there, happy for the solidness of his presence.  Happier that he got to witness some good news for a change.  The beta was 300... more than doubled.  Well, of course.  How could I ever have doubted anything but?   *crazy laugh*

Here are my numbers with a 5dt FET

12dpo  hcg 30 (none)

14dpo   hcg 66       42.20 hrs

17dpo   hcg 146     62.86 hrs

19dpo   hcg 300     46.20 hrs


  1. wwooooohooo, you go crazy lady!!! We've all been there....crazy I mean. =) May you continue to be a "crazy lady" for nine more months and then till that child becomes an adult. =)

  2. Hey, I understand going a little crazy. I didn't believe any of my betas for the quads and fully expected bad news. I think when you pour so much money and emotional effort into TTC you are well within your rights to lose it from time to time! Loving that 19DPO beta though, girl -- WOW! So awesome.

    P.S. Your story about Nurse Bob made me cry. Thank you for sharing it, I needed to hear that. *hugs*

  3. Oh, that is wonderful! I think any woman who has experienced difficulty getting pg and then suffering a m/c etc would be every bit as crazy as you :) So happy for you hon!

  4. Great news Sonya! I was hoping you'd get another beta done to ease your mind. I am super confident for you!