Let's hope for a better outcome this time, shall we?
So anyhow... we have eight embryos that are now four days old. They are at morula stage, which is just some name for how far they've developed. The cells are starting to compact and not usually individually visible. They say it's not unusual to lose half of the embryos from day three but thankfully this hasn't happened!
What else hasn't happened... Well for one thing I go hours and hours without thinking about the IVF. Even half a day or more. This does not mean I am cold hearted or uncaring, it means I am able to distract myself with some degree of success and think about other things. Like spending much, much needed girlfriend time with Simar; like doing a little Christmas shopping for my family; like just taking hot baths and cooking good food.
Another thing that hasn't happened is that I am not freaking out about what we will do if this doesn't work. David and I had a very serious, very honest talk about what we would do in that case. And at the end of it all, we both agreed the following facts:
- We only have a small window of time that I can safely conceive a child.
- We have excellent results as far as:
- Egg production
- Sperm production
- Egg quality
- We survived the first miscarriage and agreed it was the hardest.
- Money, while never to be taken lightly, is not really an issue in this case. We do not regret one single penny of what we've spent so far, and it hasn't impacted our savings or our future.
- Success, aka a child of our own, will make every needle, every plane trip, every ultrasound, pill, doctor's appointment, tear and heartache worth it.
- If it doesn't work, we have our entire lives to get over it. Yes there will always be sadness attached to the loss and inability to conceive, however, life is not without loss and sadness.