|Sometimes things happen over|
over until you learn something.
|Letting whatever will be just wash over|
me and finding gratitude whether or not
I get what I think I want.
I felt so guilty the first time we miscarried. I had worked two sixteen hour days back to back in the hot sun, knowing I was pregnant. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that, but I do accept that it happened and there's nothing I can do to change it. Not just accept what happened, but I feel I've also surrendered to what may be. Whether it's a warm, squirmy, cooing baby in eight months or miscarriage after miscarriage, I surrender to it. It's the experience that is important, not getting what I think I want.