my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Crazy Lady Test Update!

Hi Everyone!!  I am optimistically in a good mood.  My test lines are not getting super dark super fast, but I've seen and read way, way too many stories of lines coming in nice and steady to be freaked out.  Yes, I'd love for the tests to be stronger, but most women don't get bfp (big fat positives) this early after an IVF cycle, so I am just going to be happy and content with these tests.  I almost think today's evening test is really super close to yesterday's to be honest, but as long as they are darker over a two day span (which they are!) then I'm at peace.  And besides, I took a digital (clear blue) yesterday and it was negative - you can see what the one from today says - that was pretty awesome.

I went to get my beta (blood test) today and the doctor seemed irritated with me - I don't care for her that much, to be honest, and am not sure if I'll keep seeing her for prenatal and delivery.  She didn't seem to have any compassion for me, and just said to call back late tomorrow morning to get the results.  I know they're at her office now - I called the lab and they said they were in the system.  Sigh.  I can wait.  I anticipate my beta will be somewhere around 30, based on how light the lines are - but we'll see.  At least we get the second beta on Friday so I can spend the weekend either licking my wounds or celebrating a new pregnancy.

I bounce from 'realizing' I'm pregnant to giving myself huge reality checks.  I really anticipate the tests because it's about the only thing that "yes, I'm still pregnant".  I don't have a test in the house now, I won't test in the morning.  I *might* be compelled to test again tomorrow evening, and if I feel like it, I will.  But tomorrow morning I get the first beta number, and then Friday I get the second.  I'm so nervous I have actual butterflies. 

I rationalize the light lines this way: 

If the very first teeny line was on 9DPO was about a 7 (I had a test like that and my beta that day was a 6), then on 11DPO the most we could expect would be a 14.  Then today, at 12DPO, it would only be around 21 or so.  By tomorrow, it will be 35ish, and then around 40 or 50 on Friday.  These are early, early numbers and I hope I don't sound as anxious as I am.  ;)


  1. Deep Breaths! Hang in there. But most of all.....enjoy it!!! You are pregnant!! Whoo Hoo!

  2. Yay!!! I meant to tell you that the first digital I took - a yes or no test - said no. I had the 28.8 beta the next morning. :) (I'm 21 weeks today.) I'm so glad for you and betting all cards for a very sticky bean or beans!!!! :) I've been checking all evening to see if you tested again. Don't stop smiling. I can see the grin from ear to ear. ;)

  3. And now crying! You guys are my pillars of strength... this would be a lot easier with David at home... the support and 'conversation' makes this a lot less lonely.

  4. The fact that you got a "no" yesterday and a "yes" today is a great thing! And so early too! That is a great sign :)

  5. *jumping up and down * For you!!

  6. OMG the digital test that you drew a heart next to brought tears to my eyes!! Beautiful ... who knew that simple word could bring such joy? I cannot wait to hear about your beta results!! *hugs*

  7. well, congratulations are definitely in order! you are most deservedly pregnant!!