my Self

My photo
Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I'm Pregnant (?)

I can't bring myself to actually say it without the question mark at the end.  But I am warming up to the thought! David is totally confident - he has been since we started the whole IVF thing!

I was told by a well meaning woman on a forum that I was not allowed to test anymore.  Honestly, it really bothered me!  I mean... I've been so supportive... so patient (well, most of the time) and these tests, this positive moment, might be the highlight of this entire cycle.  I know that the world can drop out from underneath me in a split second.

But back to my compulsive testing!  I love getting the positive tests.  They make me feel good.  And if they start to fade, they will make me feel prepared.  I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't use recreational drugs, I don't frequent bars, I don't gamble, I don't sleep around.  So when it's time, and I get to test and see what, to me, is the equilivant of a million dollar jackpot, just let me be... you know...let me dream a little!

As you can see from the picture below... the second test I took today, less than 12 hours after the first one.. has an ever darker line!  OMG!! Honestly, I am tiny bit freaked out at how fast the line is coming in.... I know I wanted twins, but it's a little scary to think about actually getting them!  Most of the women I talked to never got positive test results this early.  My blood test (beta) on Friday, will tell me some important things, like how strong the pregnancy is at this time.   We'll do a second test on Monday, to see how fast the hcg hormone is building in my body.  That will be so comforting, but until then, I will test and test and test.  Even David is supportive because I think he likes the reassurance as well.  We've just lost so much through this journey, had so many disapointments, so many 'try again's'.

It's really nice to think that I'm Pregnant(?)!

Oh, and lots of ladies are asking about my symptoms. 
A little bit emotional - cried this morning when David called me, for no good reason.
My boobs are aching, and well, the nips are extremely ITCHY
I have had small bouts of heartburn
My lower back aches
Some minor cramping/pulling/twinges
Tiny bits of nausea, closer to being 'motion sickness'
And joy.


  1. Beautiful!

    I love the "joy" part!

  2. Sonya! You test as much as you want. I think some women are hesitant to test, because of the pain of a BFN. For me a phone call of a BFN is much worse than a BFN on test in the comfort of my own bathroom.

    I completely understand the obsession. I am hesitant to test, because once I find out I am pg I will then begin to obsess about whether it is ectopic or not again. So, I go back and forth; test like I want to or hold out. It is why I love following your journey. You are so strong!! I love it! Test to your heart's desire!!!!

  3. Test away girl! If it makes you feel better do it! I am sooo happy for you guys!

    Keep the darker lines coming!

  4. LOOK at that LINE!! Definitely darker each time you test!! I am so excited for you!! I cannot wait for your beta ... I am so impatient waiting for YOUR beta, I cannot imagine how impatient you are!! =)

    I am praying for a nice, strong number and for continued darkening lines!!

  5. Awesome! Those look like pretty definitively darker-n-darker lines. Fingers crossed for ya - I too would be on a testing rampage if I were you. So go for it!

  6. My heart is skipping with joy! I. Cannot. Wait. For. Friday.! You must update us immediately after your
    So happy for you hon. You deserve it!

  7. This is awesome! :) And you know I'm a little embarrassed to say that I still have the urge to poas. At this point the control line is barely there on my test since the dye is used mostly for the first line. But it def. feels good to have that reassurance, so I def. understand. Besides, how many times do you get to be pregnant and see a BFP>?! Unless you are the lady from 19 kids and counting not as many ;) Can't wait for your betas! So happy for you guys

  8. wooohoooo!!! so when are you gonna tell david about these tests??