my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Testing Out the Trigger - 9DPT (9 Days Past Trigger)

Friday, Feb 5, 2010

Here's my first test.  No big deal, really.  For those of you without 'pregnancy eyes' there is a second line, which means there is hcg still in my system. 

I am 9 days past the hcg trigger shot.  HCG is the hormone that we inject to make my body ovulate.  It's the exact same hormone that baby makes when he implants and begins to grow. 

The trigger will make a positive pregnancy test for about 10 days after you take it.

I have choosen to 'test out the trigger' which means I will test until:
  • The line goes away and does not come back (which means I did not stay pregnant)
  • The line goes away and then comes back (which means I did stay pregnant)
  • The line never goes away and gets darker (which means I did stay pregnant)
The line appeared right away, which was a little surprising.  I thought it might be gone at this stage - they say one day for every 1,000 IU of hcg.  I took 10,000 IU of hcg, so it should be completely gone by tomorrow.

This is a holding time.  This is a waiting time.  This is the time when fate is already written but not revealed.  It's a time of patience.  It's the first time that I actually have some.  You'd think that three whole weeks of baby this and embryo that would have me so strung out I'd be trembling with anticipation.  I'm not. 

I spent time on my trip with my sister, who simply amazed me with her love and gratitude she has for life, and a strength that humbles me to my knees.  She is fighting cancer. So for me to spend one moment whining about my life, or mourning something I don't have, would make a mockery of what my sister is so bravely enduring.  Okay, that's bullshit.  She's not brave.  She's terrified.  She's enduring because she has to.  The bravery comes as a big old mask she throws on for her husband and children.  Ok, Ok.. I don't want to print her story without permission.

I am at peace with what happens with this maybe-pregnancy.  We were able to get  four babies-on-ice (frozen embryos) when we were old we might not get any.  We have three grade 4BB and one grade 6BB (the six indicates that the embryo has already hatched!).  That's great news!!


  1. YAY!! I am excited to see this post. I hope that line get's darker and darker! The 2ww is the worst. I have been thinking and praying for you. Have a great weekend Sonya!

  2. I am so happy that you are not overly anxious. I think it is wonderful that you have such peace. Your four ice-babies are such good news!

    I am praying that the line will keep getting darker!

  3. Wow, congrats on your 4 frozen embabies! Glad to see the trigger is almost gone so you can start testing for real! I felt like this 2ww was easier, too, but maybe it's because you've already gotten through the first 5 days before you even start the wait when you do a day-5 transfer? I am so hopeful for you!!

  4. Isn't it a great to have that feeling of peace? I am sorry about your sister, but glad you got to spend that time with her. 4 Frozen!! That is wonderful!!

  5. Wow, I really admire and am amazed by your calm and kick-arse way of dealing with the "maybe pregnancy" concept. It would drive me bonkers, I imagine. I'd want to chug a beer, on the one hand, and then feel guilty in doing so. Glad you're feeling at peace, not glad about your sister story. Hoping hard for ya, Sonya.