my Self

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Fort St John, BC, Canada
My husband, David, and I had been trying to have a baby since November of 2007. After 'letting things happen', we got the amazing news that we were pregnant in June of 2008. Sadly, that pregnancy ended at 9 weeks with a natural miscarriage. After two more chemical pregnancies, we turned to fertility treatments in 2009. That decision was a disaster, with lousy medical care and poor monitoring. In December of 2009, we made the huge decision to move onto IVF. Things fell into place like magic and we began treatment on January 15, 2010. After a blighted ovum in March, we did a successful FET in June, only to endure another blighted ovum in July. We kept up and underwent another IVF in September/October of 2010 with the arrival of our son, Brogan in July of 2011! After our lovely success (finally) we decided to undertake yet another IVF treatment and hope for a sibling for our little red headed boy. Well... so far it's worked. Our story continues below!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Day Four Morulas

Sorry for no update yesterday.  Unlike Day 3 when I was really lethargic and tired and still recovering from Egg Retrieval, yesterday was blissfully busy for me. 

As I'm sitting here in bed, too early to get ready (I'd end up just sitting on the couch, all dressed and expectant, waiting for time to pass) I thought I'd post yesterdays progress report.

First I should say that I slept horribly last night.  My back has been hurting more and more and I'm not sure if it's the bed or the progesterone.  I also had many, many vivid dreams.  The last one of which my childhood best friend was sitting outside, surrounded by her four young children.  Her older sister was nursing a newborn.  I wanted to tell them that I would be pregnant in the morning, but when I went to explain, I just knew they would never understand, and besides, what if it only lasted a couple weeks?  I kept my mouth shut and thankfully woke up to the alarm.

Okay, yesterday's update:  We have three stragglers now instead of two.  This saddens me a little more than it should, I can contribute that to the hormones I am taking.... right?  I just can't help but feel an emotional attachment to those little masses of cells, growing in a high tech incubator in a warm lab.  I wonder if they play them music?  I mean music helps plants, right?  Maybe I'll suggest that to the doctor.

I keep getting off track.

There are three embryos that are not doing well.  They can catch up, but it's not in the odds that they will.  On a nicer, more heartwarming note, there are twelve that are doing great.  They have all progressed to the morula stage, which is from ten to thirty cells. 

Eight are in the advanced morula stage with too many cells to easily count, and four were in the countable ten cell range.  Six of our morulas are 'very good' quality and six of them are in the 'average' quality.  These are very good results according to the lab techs. 

Ideally, we want the embryos to progress to blastocysts by day five (today).  Those have the highest rates of implantation. 

I'm nervous.  I'm wishing I weren't alone.  This is a really emotional time and I am really far away from everyone I love.  I'm not one to be 'taken care of' but I am not supposed to be driving, lifting, etc.. and I am here by my self.  I need to get two weeks worth of luggage home. 

How about this.  How about we stop the belly aching and whining and use our resources to deal with it!  And I am the one who wanted to do this sooner rather than later to avoid being pregnant at Christmas,  so this is the balance I am going to have to accept.  I know the feelings of self-pity are more hormone induced than anything.  I'm strong and this is a great, wonderful chance that I'm getting.  Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude!

Our embryos  were around these stages yesterday:


  1. Hey you ... you're in that really difficult stage right now ... waiting for your babies to be safe and sound inside mama! I found this wait to be the most difficult one I had to endure. But you should have your transfer today, right?! I am so excited for you, and all your embabies sound gorgeous so hang on just a tiny bit longer ... can't wait to hear how the transfer went!

  2. Hi hon. Try not to focus on the stragglers but on the ones that are doing well. You've had a great response and have so much "good" to focus on right now. Hormones be damned - and yes - so much easier said that done..i know ;
    Again, now is a good time to develop tunnel vision and keep your eyes planted squarely on the prize.